Crossing the Threshold

Loss of an Elder

2007-08-12T15:16:00.001-07:00

For many of us that have embraced the Womens Spirituality Movement in our heart and souls,
the loss of our beloved elder, teacher, songstress, wise woman, author and goddess, Shekhinah Mountainwater will invoke a true loss. I have been feeling grief in dimensions not known to me for many years, and it's shrouded in the comfort of all-knowing. All-knowing she is safe and pain free, and that many many of women will continue to live by the gifts she shared with us, the magick of daily life and the songs and chants that will continue to be on our lips. Thanks be to you sweet Shekhinah, to this day I still use your moon chart and gift every young woman on her first moon copies of it for them to make their own.

Lunaea Weatherstone ( www.lunaea.com) wrote an endearing email to the Goddess Community that shared so much I cannot possibly say it better that her post, so I include it here. I also encourage you to look at her website for possible continued updates. Below was an update before her crossing, but I encourage all of you to read the entire post, and see how beauty~full home death can be and is. See how making sacred space can make a holy event like crossing over feel and be sacred for everyone. I just love the vision of the large yoni of Aphrodite, and think I may include some thoughts like that in my personal directions.

In the loving embrace of the great mother, welcome home again sister, welcome home.

Cedarwind

Lunaea Wrote:

Dear sisters of the Goddess community,

I know you all are holding Shekhinah in your thoughts and prayers, so
this is a little update from my perspective, having visited her this
afternoon. Z Budapest and her friend Leilani came down from the Bay
Area to bless Shekhinah and help her through the veil. When I
arrived, about an hour before Z got there, I was happy to find that
the energy was calm, loving, and charged with spirit in a peaceful
way, not the chaotic or dramatic environment I had feared based on
some of the emails I've received. The main space was open and filled
with light, Shekhinah's large round main altar just as it's ever
been, lovingly tended, with many fresh flowers. Her caregivers and
other loved ones were taking it in turn to be with her, and to
welcome visitors, who have been in and out over the past days.
Shekhinah now has 24/7 professional care too, thank Goddess, and the
hospice workers were there, gentle and grounded. Soft music was
playing, and the air was softly scented with roses.

Shekhinah lay in her bedroom, which is draped in deep reds and pinks
and purples, an Aphrodite-shrine womb from which to be reborn. She
was nested cozily with soft coverings on her bed, curled up and lying
on her side. She is extremely thin now, skin and bones, really, with
a luminous purity in her skin, her hands very beautiful. Her eyes
were closed much of the time, but she responded to my voice, turned
her head to smile, and reached up to touch my face and hair, to take
my hand and to share a few words -- she definitely knew who I was. We
spoke of her old cat Angus, who died a few years ago, and whose
presence I felt strongly there that day. I'm so glad I had the chance
to thank her for all she taught me, so many years ago -- nearly 25
years, now -- and to tell her how her work and her music will last
for many generations to come, as her sisters pass it along from woman
to woman.

Z and Leilani arrived, and Z anointed Shekhinah with Indian rose oil
that had been blessed by Amma. She laid a wreath of laurel over
Shekhinah's head briefly, as a symbol of her heroism, and then
improvised a beautiful song of blessing and release, while the other
women in the room hummed and added their energy. The presence of the
Goddess was strong, and Shekhinah was alert and taking it all in. She
and Z spoke for some time, Z leaning over the bed to speak into
Shekhinah's ear, and at one point I heard Shekhinah say, apropos of
something I didn't catch, "We were tougher back then..." and there
was soft laughter. Shekhinah had known Z was coming and had requested
that she "be funny" and there was indeed a sense not only of sorrow
for her illness and present pain, but also of perspective, wisdom,
and acceptance.

Our visit was fairly brief -- I was there for about two hours, Z for
about an hour -- but it felt complete. Shekhinah's hospice worker
said that they are going to increase her medication to lessen her
pain. Shekhinah's children arrive soon -- her daughter tomorrow and
her son on Sunday, and there was a strong feeling that she was
waiting for them. Though Shekhinah is in pain and drifting in and out
of awareness, I had no doubt but that prayer and blessing was
reaching her, and I wanted you all to know that it is helping, and to
keep it coming. Her caregivers asked me to pass along the reality of
what is happening right now, so there you have it. There is a plan to
get a regular update happening on Shekhinah's website soon. She
cannot speak on the phone, so don't call her old number. If anyone
has any questions, please feel free to get in touch with me, and I
can pass along some contact info.

Warmest blessings,
Lunaea

Again.

2007-05-08T12:05:00.000-07:00

Here I stand AGAIN at the threshold, seeing what the Goddess holds in the palm of her hand for me. I was recently elected to the board of People's Memorial Association www.peoplesmemorial.org - one of the oldest and most successful funeral consumer associations in the nation. Founded in 1939, presently serving over 100,000 members. More news on that to follow!

In May I was mentioned in an article featuring my mentor and teacher, Jerrigrace Lyons in Common Ground Magazine. Check it out - commongroundmag.com/2007/04/homefuneral0704.html - 22k - May 6, 2007 -
The entire issue is dedicated to green death, funerals, etc. Awesome.

Last but not least, I need to give a SHOUT OUT to my web goddess divine, Joanna Powell Colbert, creatrix of the Gaian Tarot and I ask you to go to her site now and check it out!! www.gaiantarot.com Joanna is who created the portrait of me titled "Threshold" before I knew that my website would be called that...you could say we are connected!

Take a look-see and let me know what you think. I am going to try to post regularly, there is just too much good news not to be blogging!

Many thanks for your patience with me, and as I stand at this new threshold, I truly feel your love and support.

Nora

The sap is rising.

2007-03-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Well folks, it's been waaaay to long. It's been a long winter. I say, Welcome Spring!
Welcome to the stirring seed and welcome to the sap rising that gives us a stirring in our bellies and excitement in our minds. Welcome to the wondrous daydreams about sunny days, flowers bursting forth and most importantly, the LILACS!!!

It's the time of year when many are making plans for summer travels and festivals and also plans for ceremonies for commitment. Handfastings and weddings will soon be here by the arm fulls! Of course, that means Beltane is soon to show it's colorful ribbons and we will dance our dances to help awaken the earth mother.

I will get some planning ideas for weddings up in the next few days, including some resources for green weddings, green gatherings period.

Soon!

Nora

Final Crossing

2006-10-22T18:55:00.000-07:00

To be blessed in death, one must learn to live.
To be blessed in life, one must learn to die.
—medieval prayer

I have been reading an amazing book that arrived in my mailbox this week.
Author Scott Eberle has created an amazing look at end-of-life, a new, fresh look,
not like the loads of books that line my shelves on the same subject.

Final Crossing~Learning to Die in Order to Live is on the top of my "you have got to read this book list" ~for those of you that are interested in Death and Dying that is. And its for anyone that understands that death is a part of life; that countless cultures around the world since the beginning of time have embraced some form of death rite in life as a right of passage. Death is rebirth. Heal and be healed. Forget old wounds. Embrace the possibilites of a new day, a new perspective, a new chance.

Scott shares his personal vulnerabilities and his journey in this life that brought him to present day. I will write a true review when I am done, but wanted to at least share this book title and web site as soon as I could. Scott has quite the story to share, and the fact he has done so with such honesty, such truth of his past...invokes a truth we all know, we all have a past, and all those days brought us to be the wonder of the person we are now.

Check it out at www.thefinalcrossing.com

Samhain gathering for women.

2006-10-15T20:59:00.000-07:00

These are not my words, but they speak my heart. I have never heard this turning of the wheel so eloquently described. If you are able to attend, do so. Anji is an incredible Priestess, and I assure you the women will all seek a transformative weekend.

Samhain...Is pronounced Sow-en...Not sam hain...Sow en... and remember this is truly a sacred time of year, our new year, a time of communing with our beloved ancestors and to set new terms for our reality, a new year of new goals and dreams. Honor this time and honor your self.

Samhain, "Summer's End," the Celtic New Year, the Blood Harvest, Dia de los Muertos, Day of the Dead... Death - a constant source of mystery and intrigue that beckons us to journey beyond the comfort of our five senses and into the realm of the shadow.

In the twilight-dusk of the year, the stillness of Wintertime approaches. The days grow shorter -- and the nights deeper. We come together with intent, to pay heed to ancient whispers, voices that urge us to prepare for the cold, and the long nights to come. Over head, the Blood Moon waxes to Full while the Earth drowses in Her first stages of sleep. In the flickering candlelight, by the warmth of the fire, together we slip into a space of darkness, and there find the embrace of the shadow. With a sigh of relief we submit to the ebb and the flow of Her, fearlessly traveling between the worlds as warriors, poets, priests and priestesses, welcoming the chance to dream, to reflect and connect, and to find the beauty in this season of death.

>From the safety of the Tribe, held lovingly in the womb of the underworld, we gaze upward to the velvet sky, then into the fire, and finally into the dark glass and beyond ourselves, calling forth the Queen of the Night, She who has many names. With no memory of the past and no vision of the future we are truly at rest and content to be -- just be.

Join us as we gather around the community fire to rid ourselves forever of that which is no longer of use. We receive messages in the darkness that will allow us to experience Samhain in a profound and moving way and use the knowledge we gain to change our lives. We carry the flame of the Goddess with us, back to our own hearths.

Gaia's Womb invites you to join us for an Earth Traditions event, an adults only day of study, and an evening of serious and fully transformational ritual.
RSVP You Won't Want to Miss This Event!!

We've been hard at work planning a spectacular journey into this most sacred of seasons. Put this on your calendar now! Please let us know at Angie@GaiasWomb.com if you are interested in attending so that we can be sure to adequately prepare for everyone. Registrations and room reservations will be taken on a first come basis.

The cost is $75.00 for the day/evening event, which includes our traditional welcome discussion, an afternoon workshop, a special evening Feast, and a late night ritual.
Overnight, indoor lodging with breakfast is an additional $55.00 per person. ($130.00 total per person)

Go to: http://www.GaiasWomb.com/event-nov06.htm for further details, guidelines, and to register]

A Letter from Melissa.

2006-10-13T14:16:00.000-07:00

For those of us working in the realm of End-of-Life, we are often gifted with writings of those we are in community with as we midwife crossings.

As I have been on this journey, the last year I have been gifted with a sister in my community to support me, as I her. We have helped with resumes, school decisions, writing projects and the delicious love of the seasons and treasures of the Goddess.
Melissa is one of the few women that I have felt a true connection with in my new community. She became a Hospice volunteer after caring for her elderly mother until her crossing a year ago. In this past month, her father crossed over, midwifed by the loving presence of Melissa. Melissa who is now wiser, more gentle, caring for her personal energy and knowing her inner strength that are different to her than when she cared for her mother.

It's with her permission I share her story of her final days with her father.
Here is her letter of her fathers crossing..

Dear Ones~

Dad completed his earthly journey this morning at 11:25 a.m. I was alone with him in his quiet, peaceful bedroom. He had a fever and I was gently washing his face with a soft, cool, baby washcloth. I said a blessing aloud over him and placed my hand lightly over his heart. Several light breaths later, he was gone.

The Hospice Home Health Aide that had assisted dad with his personal care several times per week was able to arrive and help Neil, Stella, and I with bathing dad from the top of his head to the tip of his battered old toes, massaging him with lavendar essential oil scented body cream, and then dressing him in his favorite outfit of faded old Levi jeans, a red plaid Eddie Bauer shirt that he adored, and his worn-down sheepskin slippers. We played a C.D. that we had made from some of his favorite songs we downloaded from the web; i.e. Jo Stafford's "I'll Be Seeing You" (his favorite love song for mom that we had played at her memorial service), "Dock of the Bay", "Wichita Lineman", and "King of theRoad".

I tucked a black and white photo of he and mom's wedding picture into his shirt pocket for a finishing touch!

My brother (being a sheriff) knows the undertaker of the funeral home we chose, and he helped to wrap dad in the sheets, put him in the body bag, and then assist in transporting him downstairs.

I am proud of the way Neil, Stella, and I worked together to assure the best setting/support for dad to make his final journey. We have worked well together, each offering the special strengths that we each possess.

The very large retirement center where he has lived for 3 years also surprised me with their warmth, genuine concern, and love/enjoyment of dad. The staff bent over backwards to help us - and many of the residents that he had befriended approached us in the hallways, called, or stopped by to see him.

Tonight we are all exhausted, and of course there are many details to take care of now. I am his designated Power of Attorney, so will need to attend to a number of financial scenarios. We also need to sort through and pack up his apartment. And the biggest challenge at the moment is to find an appropriate and loving home for his beloved Maine Coone/Manx cat, "Max".

Dad requested no memorial service of any kind. He simply wants to be cremated and have his ashes scattered where we released mom's several years ago - off the cliff at a beautiful county park campground outside of Port Angeles that sits on the Strait of Juan De Fuca, right across from Victoria on Vancouver Island.

Neil, Stella, and I plan to pack up his apartment and head on back to Port Townsend at the end of this month to accomplish this together. It will feel good to have this kind of closure. Dad would have celebrated his 82nd birthday next Wednesday.

I cannot express the gratitude I feel at being able to be present, assist, and witness both of my parent's final days. It is hard to explain. Yesterday when the dear, young Samoan housekeeper who was responsible for cleaning dad's apartment every week stopped by to dump the trash, I told her that dad was near death. I asked her how eldercare and dying is handled in her culture. Her eyes got very big and she described, in her broken English, how elders are always respected and cared for within the family home. She shook her head and said, "We would NEVER put them in the places that you have here!"

I know this is not always possible (after all, we chose to move my mother into a small adult family home for the last two weeks of her life because my father and I simply could not address her increasing demands), but I have learned that it can almost always be a possibility if hospice is involved and other family members and friends are willing to step forward. I am seeing how everyone may be blessed and enriched by it. My motto these past days has truly been, "It takes a village."

The next few weeks will be very busy, but I am relieved that I can take my time and process all of this in my own way. I can see how I have done it "differently" this time, in terms of personal care of my body/mind/spirit, than I did with mom. It feels great. And empowering.

Thank you all for your love, prayers, rituals, and support~

Melissa

Lessons from Candles.

2006-10-07T14:25:00.000-07:00

I recently attended an amazing four day weekend with some incredible, diverse, open, absolutely devouted, dedicating to learning and sharing folks all walking the path in some aspect or another of End-of-Life. Through our time together, we built relationships and delighted as occasional "ah ha" moments peppered our time together.

One of our experiences was co-creating a community altar to our beloved Dead and as we placed items in the altar we shared short ditties about what or who and even how these gifts came to be there then, ready to be charged on the altar during our time together.
After placing our items we then went around the circle and lit candles in honor or mention of our ancestors or beloved dead. Some saw their ancestors, some reflected silently, some cried softly. Some told stories that made us laugh. We all sang and danced and welcomed the energy and spirit to our work together thay was ahead of us.
We danced, and sang and danced some more, as each of the candles became colorful puddles of wax, there was one candle that just wanted to hold on..so we kept singing and dancing and ...well, as the saying goes, hindsight is golden.

My beloved teacher Jerri Lyons www.finalpassages.org shared her thoughts with us after we had all returned home to mundainia. I asked her permission to include her post in my blog, and she has said she is happy to share this wisdom with who ever it is meant to be recieved by. So here is her post:

"I want to share my thoughts on the candle that continued to burn during our altar sharing ceremony. This was not at all planned, but the very same thing happened at our last seminar. One candle continued to burn for some time after all the others had gone out. (It wasn't mine at the spring seminar).

At the last seminar we were all dancing and singing while each candle burned and extinguished. When the last candle kept burning I began to feel the discomfort of some in the group and wondered what I should do, but kept checking in with my inner guidance for an answer. I wasn't aware at that time of any Native American customs or any other things to base a decision on. I just kept getting the same answer, to keep dancing and release anyone who wished to leave. (This candle burned much longer than the one in our seminar).

When I did a meditation on this later, the information I received was that this exercise was to show us the uncertainty of death. When we are in the waiting period for someone to take their leave, we only know that it will happen in time, but we don't know when that final moment will arrive. Each person, as in family members, friends and care givers of the one who is dying will respond differently. Some may begin to feel impatient, some may be at peace, some will want to stay with the dying person so that others may leave, some will leave to take care of themselves, some will experience a suffering, some will choose to sing, some will pray, some will just be witnessing with an open mind and heart and a whole myriad of other emotions and feelings may occur as well."

Pour it out for me.

2006-10-01T21:39:00.000-07:00

For anyone that has heard the buzzword "Life List" I am thrilled to share I have finally checked one of the top items off of my Life List. Self explanitory as it seems, our Life Lists can change just as our interests do. Fifteen years ago the number one item on my list for the last three years would not have been "Meet, connect and train with Jerri Lyons, "rebirther of the modern Death Midwife movement." As of last week, that one finally got the big strike through. Jerri Lyons is founder of Final
Passages www.finalpassages.org and is truly a gift to the planet and the hundreds and hundreds of families and individuals she has assisted and educated. She is the queen of empowerment and doing it yourself. She advocates knowing your rights under the law and practicing your rights under the law. She is the Goddess of Blessed Passage, the divine one who invokes reclaiming that which we only recently gave away ~ home funerals.
It was an amazing weekend, in an amazing sanctuary of a retreat space, Mamaland. Through our time together, we shared our experiences, our questions, our answers, poured out our hearts and cried our tears. We also laughed until we cried and collected lots of resource materials. Before we ate we sang the Reclaiming Collective's wwww.reclaiming.org food blessing chant that my tribe and community sing together before ever feast...

"Our hands will work for peace and justice
Our hands will work to heal the land
Gather round the harvest table
Let us feast and bless the land."

I always love how intimate of an experience a long weekend can be. I feel so gifted, so blessed, so fullfilled from all that each person there had to offer. My heart opened wide and the wisdom of all present poured in. I hear the chorus ofthat other Reclaiming song dancing in my head

"pour it out for me,
pour it out for me,
everything you send me
I will drink"

I have a full and glad heart. Full of love, new relationships and knowledge. Glad that finally, number one on my Life List is finally crossed off ~ meeting and learning with Jerri Lyons, honored, respected, deserving, Rebirther of the Modern Death Midwife Movement. Blessed Be.

Why am I so happy?

2006-08-25T17:56:00.000-07:00

I've had a busy time this summer, as the wheel turns toward the harvest festivals and the evenings take on the cool air that invokes thoughts of "not yet, I am not ready to surrender to the endless warm and ever blooming days of the present"

I have also made a fair amount of time to re-connect to my sense of place, and come home to center. As I have done my journey inward I can't help but to feel an in immense sense of fullness, of gratefulness....and I am happy!

Happiness
1. joy, the emotion of being happy.
2. Good luck; good fortune; prosperity.
3. An agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from good fortune or propitious happening of any kind; the possession of those circumstances or that state of being which is attended enjoyment; the state of being happy; contentment; joyful satisfaction; felicity; blessedness.

I have reflected daily for the past three weeks on what I am so full with, so happy from.....this community that has so truly blessed my life. The reality that we have a tribe that truly, unconditionally care for one another in the ways that any family would be truly grateful to have. This tribe has talents of plenty, creatrixes of artwork and network magick, healers of touch and allopathic medicine, food goddesses divine, organic farmer, military, elder care, seamstress, quilters, bookkeepers and life coach, singer, songwriter, stone carver, bookstore owner, engineer, plant and herbal wisdom keepers, salmon keeper, death midwife.....and every one of those talents are possessed by at least one person in our tribe, and many many more talents go unnamed. That we share our gifts and trades and crafts with one another, we support and hold each other up, we unconditionally guide each other even when the waters or thresholds, are challenging to navigate.

How do I share that I have never known so much goodness, so much love, so much talent and so much spiritual devotion that I have never been this happy? How can I write about that which I asked myself everyday for weeks and just felt more joy, more blessing, more fullness of full and glad heart?

Ah, serendipity.... as I took a deep breath and tried to blog....I saw the words on my bulletin board, torn from the bottom of a note my daughter Jess wrote me years earlier......

"In our daily lives, we must see it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but gratefulness that makes us happy." Albert Clarke

I know why I am so truly happy. I am truly grateful. Blessed Be.

Nora

Housekeeping my threshold.

2006-08-12T14:36:00.000-07:00

I am sorry it has been such a long time between posts.

July brought about numerous opportunities for me to have a lot of traffic across my personal thresholds. I am staying home today from some long awaited events, taking care me with much need rest. Sort of a cleansing and reannointing my threshold. Loving and healing myself so I am able to continue this path I have been so blessed to walk.

With the crossing of a beloved friend, the amazing and wonder~full birth of my first grandchild, and the gift of midwifing the crossing of our family patriarch and beloved elder.....I must say how awesome it is to have such an incredible community, chosen family to surround and care for me.
Concern for my sister Joanna, my personal grief, and guarding the hearts of my children who have lost a grandfather and are feeling grief's deep, searing jabs, and yet they are processing and healing too.

My energy is low, and I need a recharge. It's not often this sister pulls out of being right in the middle of something, but the energy I put out last month is needs to return to me, so here I am, waiting to refill this vessel I so need to care for.

Today, I am smelling the stargazer lilies that fill my house (left from Dean's memorial and our Lammas Celebration) I am feeling the sun on my skin and I am closing my eyes when they signal they are heavy, and I need more sleep. I am drinking in tea and carrot juice and doing tinctures to revive my adrenals that have been streched.....I am caretaking this caregiver.

I await the refill of spirit and energy. Until then, I'll dream and heal. Dream and Heal. Sounds good doesn't it?

Standing on my Threshold.

2006-07-17T12:13:00.000-07:00

It's been an amazing week here on my beloved Lummi Island. This place where I brought my children and we all healed from some of life's heaviest hurts. Her natural beauty and sacred privacy has offered me and many folks I know the healing and solace we all seek in such a place as this. From the daily view of the young buck that grazes in the yard, to the momma eagle and her young sitting in the cedar snag while watching the salmon return home to their northern waters...I've seen the Orca too, both on the south and west side of the island, on two different days. Excitement and joy fill the hearts of those that see them. As I go out for my daily walk I also grieve for this place, as so many homes have been built, so many more cars, so many people that no longer wave to everyone, or relax and drive a comfortable pace, so many people are in such a hurry these days here!

I have had this week to reflect on launching my blog, and finally as I stand on a threshold of my life that has me truly seeing the spiral of life, I am so motivated to let it all begin now. I have lost a dear friend this week. No one is able to give a correct or sure diagnosis of his illness, brought on by diabetes, but many doctors and hospitals could not truly say what the cause was. His wife a Reiki master and incredible massage healer realized his quest to return home in peace, no more poking or prodding, and finally asked the doctors to let him go to the place of summer days and apples..... I supported her in this process, understanding that not all of us want heroic efforts or expensive tests that only continue the pain of both the patient and the loved ones watching the process. He passed, free of fear, knowing he was returning to a place of peace, that his life on this earth was done...he ws truly loved and he will be truly missed. He was a dear and beloved friend and like myself, my good friend Glenn loved a deep belly laugh. He kept me laughing for hours whenever we were together. He was sure to note I was easy to wind up with laughter and he could really work it. He was a trickster and played too many to mention practical jokes on my youngest daughter. She too misses our muse, our trickster, our true bard of the sacred laugh.

On the same threshold, I await the birth of my first grandchild. My lifeblood continued through the gift of my daughter and her incredible husband. Such a divine gift to see your childrens children..I remind her that even though it is hot these July days, you cannot pick the fruit from tree without waiting for it to be just right. That makes for the perfect harvest. Every day baby stays inside her lungs develop strong and healthy. As I had a July delivery for my daughter and her twin brother, I have told my daughter many a hot day pregnant story. We have had a lot of laughs and encouragement laced phone conversations this week.

So I stand on this threshold, loss and life. Yin and Yang. Birth and Death. This is what the true thresholds of life are. We all embrace them differently, but it is my intent as time passes that we may all plan for our death, just the way most people prepare and plan for birth. Since we know death is inevitable, lets work together to make this experience for those that love us and remain when we are gone easier. I will offer you resources and tools to consider the best way to embrace this reality of our time here on earth. Nature teaches us all living things will pass. I will help teach you how to prepare for this experience.

Lastly, thanks to my sistah Joanna Powell Colbert for her birthing my website and encouraging me and blessing me on my journey. What a gift it is to have a sister that has made this new step into technology so comfortable. Check out her talents at www.gaiantarot.com and remember she does awesome web design too.

I look to hearing your comments and thoughts. Let us prepare for all the thresholds and share our wisdom.

Love and blessings from the threshold,
Nora